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WEEK 5 | MONTH ONE | BABY SESAME SEED
SATURDAY APRIL 16TH
Well wouldn'tcha know it, I'm still pregnant. Yeah, I know, seems a little weird to be testing again. But I needed to see those lines, those beautiful joyful red lines, to reassure myself that any lack of symptoms was not a precursor for an early end. The only "early end" I'd accept would be a baby born before my envisioned day of December 23rd. And even that isn't preferred. I'm thrilled to still be pregnant, and strongly so according to the test line, which was darker this week than last week. That means my HCG hormone, the baby-keeping hormone, is increasing. And that is very very good news!
To say i have no symptoms I suppose wouldn't be entirely accurate. I can tell i'm extra tired. Whenever i am sitting I feel like sleeping...and sometimes I do almost immediately. I also have noticed an interestingly tasty pattern of eating tacos more than usual. Taco is one of my favorite food groups, so eating them is nothing out of the ordinary. Having them four times in two weeks may be a bit excessive. I'm thinking maybe I'm craving them. Oh well, if those are my maternity muses, so be it! At least I can make them healthy. When i was pregnant with Landon i craved veggies and steak. But with Kiley i craved Dairy Queen Blizzards. I'll gladly accept my taco craving as a healthy alternative!
MONDAY APRIL 18TH
Today was just like any other day, except that I'm pregnant! Symptoms are still at a minimum, with really notable fatigue being the only sign since the beginning. I did feel very minor cramps sporadically and a little uneasiness with my appetite later on. Starting around 7pm my stomach felt sensitive but not so much that i couldn't eat. As a matter of fact, it was around that time it started growling! I was surprised, but not surprised. My metabolism kicked up a few notches during my other pregnancies, so much so that gaining weight was difficult. I either had to eat a LOT of the good stuff often, or eat high-fat junk, or both! I always try to just eat a lot of healthy and leave the junk behind.
That plan didn't work out as well as i wanted during Kiley's pregnancy. She had me craving sweets like no tomorrow! I was scarfing Dairy Queen blizzards 2-3 times a week and i still had trouble gaining weight. So far I haven't craved anything too strongly, other than tacos of course. I had a taco-like salad on Sunday and will be enjoying another today. Those things just don't get old (so long as i don't get sick after eating one...God forbid). At least its many times healthier than blizzards.
So back to tonight. You'll have to pardon my constant reversion to the past. I love reliving those moments! Anyway, TONIGHT at around 8:00, i'm sitting on the couch with my adorable and increasingly tired son, watching The Nut Job (great movie, by the way) when my stomach said to me "EAT EAT EAT EAT EAT!!!" So i cooked myself a yellow sweet potato and some mixed veggies. It was SO good!! I'm thankful my stomach isn't so queasy (yet?) that i can't eat normally. And i'm equally thankful that i wanted something healthy! Here's to a healthy momma and a healthy baby!!
Hmmm..."wanted something healthy". Interesting. Makes me wonder if maybe I'm pregnant with a boy. My cravings from Landon's pregnancy to Kiley's were very distinctly opposite. I really didn't crave sweets with Landon and i really didn't crave health food with Kiley. I ate healthy with her but it was difficult to do. I know its not always a given, especially since sometimes i have wanted ice cream and M&Ms (both were bought and consumed this past weekend in fact), but it still makes me wonder...
Mike and I have talked about not finding out the sex of this baby. This will very very likely be our last (snippy-snip will be the end-all), so why not hold out for that moment when Baby pops out and midwife says "ITS A......"! Mike agreed that since we already have a boy and a girl, finding out the third at birth might be fun. We've always liked naming our babies early, so it could be a challenge, but perhaps one worth experiencing once in a lifetime.
TUESDAY APRIL 19TH
I'd like to say i know all there is to know now that i had my initial appointment today, but unfortunately I know nothing. My nurse with whom i share a name and bubbly personality was very happy to see me again. It was good to see her too. My midwife was also happy to see me, but i could see the same reservation on her face as mine. She knows my past, knows how i must be feeling, knows we need to take necessary steps to ensure the baby is healthy...and that there even IS a baby. That's hard to say, but its happened before. But maybe not this time!
She suggested we do a blood test to compare HCG levels. If they've doubled by Friday, we're in good shape and an early ultrasound can be done. I wanted that...I need to see something, anything. It will be very hard to wait for results, but i know its the very best thing we can do. Now...i pray. I pray that this baby is healthy and happy and growing and breathing and moving and loving his or (and?) her little aquatic home. I also pray that no matter what happens, I will be strong enough to handle it.
Ok...on to eating. I'm hungry! I think my kids and i shall have some mac-n-cheese!!!
THURSDAY APRIL 21ST
I'm starting to notice smells now, mostly because they are making my stomach turn a little. I've also noticed my need to eat has increased. I'm trying to prepare for the coming weeks, knowing all this could get worse before it gets better. Its all worth it.