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WEEK 6 | MONTH ONE | BABY LENTIL
FRIDAY APRIL 22ND
I received a phone call today from the clinic. They want me to schedule an early ultrasound to test viability. I'm very nervous. Is this because of something they saw on the initial blood sample? I saw that my progesterone was low...which they also mentioned. I'll be back on progesterone soon. I was able to book an ultrasound at 4:30 today. Mike said he will come, bring the kids, so that he can be there. I'm very nervous to say the least. I'm scared they won't see anything, that my gestational sac will be black...empty. That would be a devastating blow, especially since its happened before, and I sing at my friend's wedding tomorrow. All I can do is pray...
I laid on the ultrasound bed, took a deep breath, and waited for the warm gel on my stomach. There I was, my uterus, cervix, ovaries, all up on the screen. And a little black space. The gestational sac...the moment of truth. This would either be the end or the beginning. The technician warned us that I was very early and everything was very small. Seeing anything might not have been possible, so she didn't want me to be scared. But I was. I appeared still, but my heart was racing and my insides were shaking.
She couldn't see anything. But instead of that being the end, it was just a road block. She needed to go in, with the lovely probe. I'd had that done before, with Olive, so I wasn't scared of that. In and up she went, and there were my insides on the monitor again, but clearer now. And the black space now had a ring in it...the yolk sac, just as the technician hoped there would be. She looked around the sac some more, my heart nearly stopped...until we saw a little tiny white speck. Our baby!! And there was some tiny movements...a heartbeat!!!! I could feel the air in the room level out. I could breathe. There was our tiny rice-sized baby, pumping blood at 100 beats per minute, a healthy rate. We couldn't have been be happier.
Landon thought he was looking at Kiley again, since he'd seen ultrasounds of her. I didn't know what to tell him, so i just giggled. I told the technician we hadn't told him about the new baby yet and that we planned to wait until we were in the clear. I'm very excited for that moment.
SATURDAY APRIL 23RD
We made it past a huge milestone today! I finally got to sing at a wedding without holding in devastating heartbreak. Instead I had to hold back extreme happiness!! I couldn't tell my friends that were there with me, sitting next to me talking about our other friends who'd just told us about their pregnancy. We were sitting across from a woman holding her nephew, a tiny 3-week-old newborn. "Doesn't this give you baby fever?" she asked me with a big smile. I just smiled back. It did give me baby fever seeing that little guy, and i became excited for my own new adventure.
I ate to much. I was super hungry while singing at the wedding, and felt kinda weak halfway through. As soon as the ceremony ended I pulled out my granola bar stash and ate every last one. Afterwards, Mike and I headed to KFC so i could have some grilled chicken, corn, cole slaw and my favorite biscuits! I was full. At the reception I had some pass-arounds and then the meal. I couldn't eat even half of it! i was sad because it was delicious! But i felt like my stomach was going to explode, and i really didn't want that to happen. Problem was, i felt nauseous so i had to eat but i had no room! I learned that i need to eat a lot, but in small amounts at a time. Everything I eat has to be spaced out. Ugh, I learned that the hard way...i was in a lot of pain!
MONDAY APRIL 25TH
I ate well today, but i ate a lot. I had cereal with milk, yogurt, a whole avocado, pear, brussel sprouts, apple with almond butter, ham and potatoes, a sweet potato, and more cereal later on. I even texted Mike at 8pm to ask if he'd be willing to stop at the store on his way home from work to get some mac&cheese for me. He came home, got some money and came back with 5 boxes! So there i was at 10:30pm eating a box of mac&cheese...the whole box. I was sick when i started, had to convince myself to eat it. I'm glad i did because it was excellent! Halfway through, my nausea subsided but my stomach started growling. So i kept eating. I didn't even feel as if I'd eaten a whole box! Yum.
TUESDAY APRIL 26TH
My stomach was empty this morning. Mac&cheese, digested. Here we go again!