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WEEK 30 | MONTH SEVEN | BABY BIG CABBAGE
My stomach feels achy today. Haven't figured out why yet. Its not severe, just a nuisance. But its making it hard to decide what to eat. There's this little burning sensation. I think its gas, stomach acid. I'm making sure to drink lots and lots of water.
Baby has hiccups today. Had them yesterday too. Kiley rarely got hiccups but Landon did, not as much as this one though! I feel them low and on the left. That makes me think baby's head is down there. That's great, but s/he still is on the wrong side. I trust my body and my baby...they will work together to help Baby move into the perfect position. The inversions and exercises I'm doing, plus my continual effort to sit and stand with good alignment will hopefully help keep things open for Baby to move. If I consistently contort my body, the baby will likely do the same and be blocked off from turning. I'll make sure I do what I can to help.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 8
Wow today was a busy day! Started off with getting up early to help get Landon ready for his first hockey practice of the season. I was going to miss it because of a rescheduled dentist appointment that fell during the same time. After the family left, I headed to my appointment. I expected there to be some changes since my last visit 8 months ago. Pregnancy isn't kind to teeth. Hormonal changes and prenatal vitamins can cause some issue. But they were still better than I feared. No cavities, not much scraping. After the cleaning I stopped at Target to get some birthday gifts for the two parties we were splitting up to attend later on. Mike and the kids met me there because Landon had a dentist appointment soon after hockey. I had a nice pressure wave at Target that didn't stop me but allowed me to practice zoning out for half a minute.
Landon did great at his appointment. Such a trooper! He has wonderful little teeth. After his cleaning we had a little break before soccer, but I was destined to miss that as well. We decided Kiley needed to keep napping since she was still sick (or whatever it was that was haunting her poor little nose). After soccer we got ready for the parties and went our separate ways...Landon and Mike to one, Kiley and I to another.
It was nice to see my parents. They had come to my nieces birthday party, to my surprise! My mom hasn't seen me for quite a few weeks so she was excited to see the pregnancy progress, and see me doing so well. And I am! I'm feeling great both physically, emotionally and mentally. My mind and body are being well prepared for birthing and I couldn't be more relaxed and excited. My mom and I got to talk a little about it and that was so fun. We're really hoping she and my dad will make it for the birth, but we know it'll be tough. They live 3 hours away and my births have a track record of going quite quickly. I'm really trying to be on top of it all and in close tune with any changes. They'll get a phone call as soon as anything seems different.
It was great seeing my brother and his girlfriend too. She's loving my pregnancy as much as I do. We chatted about our past pregnancies, Hypnobabies and how we loved everything about everything. It was wonderful being surrounded by such positive vibes.
After the party Kiley and I headed home to an empty house...well, Jack was there. He makes for happy company. Mike and Landon went straight from our other niece's birthday party to Scream Town! It's got haunted houses and scary people and is recommended for kids 10 and older!! Eek! My little 5 year old loves scary stuff and handles it well, but I'm still naturally worried he'll be up all night fighting off the images. We shall see!
SUNDAY OCTOBER 9
I got to see my brother, his girlfriend and my beautiful niece again this morning for a photo shoot! It was a little chilly but quickly warmed up to a comfortable photo-taking temp. We had fun getting her to smile and laugh. I was getting good exercise squatting, laying on the ground, following her as she ran. I was tired by the end, it was great. They asked me afterwards if I was feeling uncomfortable at all and that I didn't appear to. I said no, that I felt great! I just take everything in stride. If I spell it out, sure I feel a little uncomfortable as it gets harder to lie down or put on shoes or pick up my kids. But its all part of it and I'm more than happy to endure it all. It's not really bad at all. Maybe its perspective, maybe its my relaxation techniques or genetics, but every pregnancy I've had has been wonderful and without anything "bad". Just good things.
After things settled down and it was just Mike, me and the kids, I asked Mike how Landon did at Scream Town last night. Turns out he loved it. He even talked down a monster and kept it from "killing" them. What!? He also comforted a grown woman who was freaking out behind them. That's my boy. Such a brave little guy. It's things like that, oddly enough, that give me great confidence in his character, who he's becoming. He's going to be a wonderful big brother to this baby and just that thought alone makes me incredibly calm and comforted. I know this baby will be loved and safe and happy. I couldn't ask for anything more.
MONDAY OCTOBER 10
Back to work. ACK. And, as I have seen in previous weeks, my practice waves increased. They aren't necessarily longer or stronger, just more frequent. Charting their occurrences has helped me see that the weekday changes are just part of my normal pattern. They increase during the week, decrease in the evenings and weekends. They sometimes increase when I'm out and about, if I'm walking around too much or in a more stressful environment. But that's where my Hynobabies tools are so useful. I simply relax. I'm really hoping that charting will help me see a big enough change to trigger my instincts, to know when its time. I'll need enough time to call the hospital so they can prepare the tub, and get myself over there. I see it all going well and I will continue visualizing it perfectly.
My stomach has been weird again today. I'm not completely turned off to any specific foods and am still eating normally, so I'm sure its just pressure from baby on my stomach that's making me feel that way.
TUESDAY OCTOBER 11
I had an amazing Hypnobabies session today!! I still am amazed at how my mind works. Today's was the Deepening session. It's a track designed to train me to go deeper into hypnosis and deeper into relaxation. At the start of the recording there's a 20-second instrumental intro during which I am to turn my switch off. This shuts off all my muscles and anything in my body not needed for survival. I basically go limp and can't move (at least that's what I've trained my mind to accept). I then am to feel anesthesia running through my entire body. If I need to I can turn my switch halfway on to allow movement but still fell anesthesia in my middle area, which is what I'm training my mind and body to do for my birthing time.
It's explained to me at the beginning of the track that I may not consciously hear what she's saying, that I might drift off here and there, but to know that my subconscious mind will hear everything. Then when she counts 3-2-1 I will come to full awareness. Makes sense. But I was SO tired and I always think I'm going to fall asleep. I swore I fell asleep this time. I set my phone alarm to wake me up at the end of my break just in case. The session was only 32 minutes and my break was 60 min, so I had plenty of time to wake up if I indeed fell fully asleep.
I don't remember anything after a few minutes. I turned off my switch, fell into a deep relaxation immediately and that was all. Until I heard the number "3". She talked a little about slowly coming out of hypnosis, then "2", get ready to come fully out, then "1"...she instructed to turn my switch fully to "on" and notice how great I felt. And I did! I wasn't tired or worn down. I felt rejuvenated, relaxed and happy. And amazed! I hadn't been sleeping at all! Not one minute of that session was spent sleeping. I was in hypnosis, which means I did hear everything she said. If I had been sleeping there's no way i would've spontaneously awoken to her counting me out. I've had that happen and woke up in the middle of the session repeating itself...or a different session! The last week of practicing I experienced this same phenomenon of swearing upon "waking up" that I'd been sleeping until realizing I just heard her counting back to "1". My mind is truly being trained to relax and respond to cues!! I'm so excited by that because it means I'm learning and that my birth will be even more wonderful. It means that no matter what arises, I will be able to easily relax and let my body and mind do what is necessary. The mind is such a powerful tool. God gave me that tool and I feel like these sessions are helping me open up and connect with his grace more fully. He designed my body to birth naturally and without complications.
The Bible says "I shall indeed multiply your pain...in pain you shall bring forth children." It's often interpreted as physical pain, that only through hurting and tension and fear (and often resulting complications) will your baby finally be born. That doesn't make sense. Birth is not a punishment. Birth is not an evil thing brought upon women by men that wish us harm. Birth is a beautiful experience that both finishes out an incredible journey and begins a new one with the culmination of God's creation...a baby. I interpret this Bible verse much more deeply...the word "pain" has two primary definitions and the Bible does not say which it intends. Therefore it could mean either and is left up to us to choose one of the two path God has laid out. I choose the definition "careful effort; great care". It's human nature to assume and jump to negativity, it's the way our mind works. Birth is portrayed in our culture as scary, bad, the most painful event, means to an end. Its all over the place, in the media, in books, everywhere. Except not everywhere worldwide.
Cultures not exposed to the negatives give birth quickly, quietly and peacefully. They're never taught the negative so they know nothing of it. Some cultures view birth as sacred and beautiful. I'm reprogramming the negative out of my mind and teaching myself new habits of thinking and behavior. That takes a LOT of effort and great care!! Definition of "pain". I'm choosing to look at the positive and see God's promise to "multiple your pain during childbirth" as Him giving us strength to put forth more effort and more care and work hard. I'm work very hard to have a wonderful birth and i work even harder during birth. But I do so in a relaxed state of mind. God does not tell us how to feel pain or how to tolerate it. Some feel it as awful, some feel it as being alive, some feel it as pleasure. That's what makes it all so amazing!
My body expends the same amount of energy during birth as running a marathon. That's a lot of work! Some marathon runners say they hurt and some say they feel amazing. Its all in the mind and how well you train. Same applies here. My births are not painful, they are pain-staking. Leading up to birth I take great pains to ensure I have a wonderful experience and my baby is never distressed...I spend a lot of time practicing, listening to my Hypnobabies tracks and teaching my mind and body to relax in the face of what most fear. It takes hours each day and that's hard to devote when I have so many other responsibilities. But its all worth the effort...I get back 10-fold what I put in to the preparation. I defend my view confidently because there is nothing to disprove my interpretation and because I have experienced the results firsthand. I feel God with me as I learn and while I give birth. He does not abandon me but rather gives me even more peace and strength and serenity and faith. My mind is more open to His love. I have nothing but thanks to give Him for giving me the ability to do all this preparation and for allowing me to experience this one more time.
What people need to understand is that I'm not some weirdo and I'm no different that anyone else. I simply have made choices that have changed my outlook on pregnancy and birth. I have chosen to make it better. I've researched how the body works, watched videos of those having peaceful births and I've read about the experiences of uninfluenced cultures. I wanted that for myself. What one dwells upon most will indeed come to pass, so I dwell on the positive!! I can either have a terrible experience or a wonderful one...seems like an easy decision, and it is. I hope that whomever reads this will be forever changed, whether they have had babies or are planning to or will soon. Pregnancy and birth is amazing!!!