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WEEK 31 | MONTH SEVEN | BABY COCONUT
What a day. It started good and ended good. I felt a little full all day but not sick to my stomach at all. I kept busy at work and when i got home I had some energy to clean, clean, clean! Probably because I didn't have to go to work the next day. Common effect of TGIF.
I did have quite a few little practice waves today. Not sure why other than regular work stresses. It wasn't a very stressful day but perhaps I don't always feel the stress. Maybe its more background noise, something I've grown accustomed to after all these years in the workforce. Maybe it was just the natural stress of being away from home. Or maybe it was the desire to get to the weekend!!
Mike took Landon to Valleyscare, leaving Kiley and me to a girls night in. We watched a movie, ate some yummy ice cream and had a fun bedtime. It was a nice and relaxing evening.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 15
Today started insanely!! We were up at a decent hour, then it was off to hockey. Then we went grocery shopping. I was starting to feel a little rundown. I had a decent-sized practice wave at the store, nothing crazy. Sometimes I get those when I'm walking around a lot without a lot of rest in between. After that we headed home to put everything away and prepare for soccer. Soccer was a nice relaxing time out. Then we went back home to do NOTHING!! Wow did that feel good.
SUNDAY OCTOBER 16
Hockey was long but fun today. But I have to say, those arena benches are hard!! My butt was sore by the end. Next weekend I need to bring my little seat pad.
We went to ValleyScare after hockey. Landon and Kiley got to wear their costumes. They had so much fun! We even wheeled Kiley through one of the haunted houses, only because it was during the day when all the vampires when everything scary was sleeping. Landon and I walked through a few. He's such a brave little guy, insisting he held my hand to help me through it. I'll let him believe that. He actually did really well and was saying "sorry" to the monsters and "it's ok" to the girls in front of us that were freaking out. I laughed and tried to remain calm. I wasn't scared, but I didn't want to be startled at all due to being pregnant. Any rise in adrenaline, good or bad, causes physical stress that I'm trying to avoid. It's actually important to not get to excited about birth when that time arises, because even that kind of energy increases adrenaline and tension. Calm, relaxing positive energy!
By the time we got home I was exhausted! I had a few practice waves while walking around but none were intense. I was just physically worn out. Problem was, the kids weren't! They still had energy! Kiley didn't nap and she and Landon played like crazy! I laid on the couch in the mix of it while Mike napped. After he got up he and the kids went outside to enjoy the remaining hours. It's been a beautiful day and we don't know how many of these we'll have left before winter. I relaxed on the deck, reading my Hypnobabies book, enjoying the view. Golden quaking aspen trees reaching to the sky, leaves blowing in the light breeze, Mike and Landon tossing a football, Kiley laughing and running around with Jack. What a perfect end to a great day. I felt like I was in a Hallmark movie, feeling so content as I sat in the lounge chair with my baby. S/he was jumping around in my tummy. I simply am loving pregnancy...again.
MONDAY OCTOBER 17
Ack, I hate starting the work week after the weekend. Happens every week and yet it never gets better. But I trucked through it. My stomach was a little off but I ate most of my food. I don't eat meals, I eat one thing at a time then wait an hour or three. My daily regiment is pretty consistent with today's. I started with oatmeal that didn't settle super well then later had Greek yogurt, then an almond butter and jam sandwich, one of the best McIntosh apples ever (!), and a yummy spinach salad with oil and vinegar later on. Not tons of food but all good. I had some cookies too that I honestly wish I hadn't eaten. I've been trying to cut a lot of those really crappy foods out, for life, because most of them are huge triggers for me to continue eating badly. One leads to another which leads to more and pretty soon I'm not eating anything but that crap. I've been able to avoid M&Ms since my nausea days because I've grown afraid of them. I know what they do to my body and my mind due the quantity I eat when I start eating them. Only problem is, they've been replaced by other things that are having the same affect on my emotional and physical health. One by one I will cut them out and hopefully become as scared of them as I am of the wonderful little M&Ms I have wisely given up. Its important for myself and my baby to be healthy.
TUESDAY OCTOBER 18
I went to the store tonight and the cashier says first to me "hello" then "when are you due?". Wow, that took guts. First off, don't ask that ever. It's a huge no-no. You COULD be wrong, I could be harboring a tumor or a goiter or bloat (I've had bloat like that...super painful!) or perhaps (God forbid) I'm carrying a stillborn that I've been told I have to birth. How awful and sad would it be to have people reminding you constantly. Simply best to NEVER EVER EVER ask. I was taken back, but happy to answer because I'm happy I look pregnant and proud to share that joy with others. I told her excitedly "mid December, roughly". Then my willingness to share quickly dwindled as she gives me this genuinely concerned crunch-faced look and says "are you suuuuure?". Yes, yes I'm sure. Again she says "you're sure its mid December?". YES! I know with great confidence actually because I can tell you my last period date and the date of conception so yes I know. I didn't say that to her but yelled it internally. I just smiled embarrassingly and said "well, with the 3rd pregnancy you tend to show much sooner, but I likely won't make it that far as my other two were both born prematurely" to which she responds "yes that is true...and there's only one in there riiiiight??". What the hellfire!? Yes there's only one baby and I'm only 31 weeks and I'm really not big enough for you to be asking me all this and my pregnancy doesn't give you freedom to ask and/or say whatever you feel like saying to me!! I didn't say any of that either, but I wanted to. My Bubble of Peace was really being tested. I held strong, smiled and went home with a troubled mind.
I tried to not let it affect me, but it did. I looked in the mirror and told myself honestly "you are not that big!". I didn't get it. Perhaps its because the only part of me that really gains weight is my belly (and some in my butt to balance the front) and that pops literally straight out. When I look down at my tummy, it starts at my normal waist width and projects out at an inward angle, so from the front and back I appear to still have a waist. That straight-out position and the fact that I have an anterior placenta (on the front) makes my stomach pop out more. But even with all that, I'm NOT big enough for someone to question the quantity I'm carrying and how long I should have left. No size would qualify me for that because no one should EVER say that! I listened to my positive pregnancy affirmations later on and I was reminded that I love my pregnant body and I accept it every day. Her negativity belongs only to her. She might not think she's being negative, and I don't have to take it negatively, but in actuality it's not complimentary to say such things. Just shush!
I truly do love my pregnant body, though, and it was sad to be given reason to doubt myself. It just blows my mind what people think they can say when someone is pregnant. Why is it that pregnancy opens that door? I certainly didn't open it! Who gave her the key?? I'll repeat that I'm ecstatic about my pregnancy and am more than happy to share that joy with everyone, but no one should think they have the right to make comments about someone's body in that way, especially to say they "look huge" and "ready to burst" and "that's more than a basketball you've got there!". They wouldn't just walk up and say that to someone who wasn't pregnant, at least I hope not!! Maybe someone like that would. But how terrible is that. Nonetheless, she is in the past and she was not thinking anything of it so I will do the same. She did say after all that jumble that I look great and that's what I'm letting through my Bubble of Peace.
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 19
I feel more pressure today. Sitting at work has been a little uncomfortable and when I stand I feel like I have to do so slowly. Baby might be sitting lower. Hence my need to use the bathroom more frequently today. It's all part of the journey! I've also been feeling more practice waves, nothing big, just more often. Sometimes I felt them within and hour and other times more than an hour apart. Pretty inconsistent. But I attribute it to just not being comfortable at work and some stress, maybe being tired has a lot to do with it. Little Landon woke me up 45min before my alarm was to go off. It's all good. :)
I felt some hiccups again! They were low on my left side towards the front. Normally I feel them on that side but WAY back in my butt which would imply that baby's head was way back there, facing my back with its back pushed up against my tummy (and my placenta). Today they were much more forward, I could actually see my stomach bouncing a little. It was quite adorable. The placement would make me think baby's head was i front, right behind my placenta, with its back against my back. Amazing how the little bugger can move around in that space.
THURSDAY OCTOBER 20
I feel full today!!! Like, ate-everything-at-a-buffet full! And yet I haven't eaten that much. Ok, so I might've had too many cookies from our bake sale, but it was for charity! And i didn't really eat a lot else. Let's see...oatmeal for breakfast (that made me feel full for hours), some grapes, Greek yogurt, and a BBQ for lunch...that was at our union meeting. But I was so full-feeling still that I barely ate anything at that lunch. I had a few spoonfuls of potato salad, even less of cole slaw and a few bits of meat. When I got home I ate a bowl of broccoli sprinkled with cheddar, a little granola cereal with milk and that was that. Not much really. I stayed up way too late working on photos, until about 11:00, and by then i finally felt some relief. I didn't feel so full anymore. Perfect timing for bedtime!