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WEEK 31 | MONTH EIGHT | BABY JICAMA
FRIDAY OCTOBER 21
What a wonderful day today will be. I feel exhausted having stayed up too late the night before, but today is Friday and I have an appointment, which not only means I get to leave work early but I get to see my midwife and talk baby stuff! Plus I also have a massage afterwards that I feel in much need of. My back and hips have been sore, mostly when I awake in the morning, but sometimes here and there throughout the day. A nice massage will do me good. And any relaxation is important leading up to my birthing time.
I've been listening religiously to my Positive Pregnancy Affirmations every morning and sometimes at night. I never get sick of them. They always make me feel so calm and confident, so happy about me and my baby and the birth. Listening to it on the way to work is a wonderful way to start my day, and listening to it while getting ready for bed (and sometimes after I lay down) is a perfect way to end the day.
I was happy to wake up feeling more empty this morning. I felt so overly full yesterday that it was a nice relief. Of course, as soon as I ate my oatmeal breakfast I felt full again. But not so terribly. Pretty sure my stomach is pushing against Baby, or the other way around. I'm happy to accept it as part of the journey.
My midwife appointment was a success. Baby is "measuring right on" and was head-down. YAY! She said "yup, baby wants to be head down now, but also wants to turn around and face your belly." I was hoping baby was head down after feeling all the hiccups way low. I also had a feeling baby was facing my back but wanted to turn the other way because I always feel its back pushing out beyond my placenta on my front right. Stay facing backwards, Baby. You can do it, and you can turn to the other side too. I know you can. Heart rate was at 150, up 10 from the last measurement, blood pressure low, got a Tdap vaccine (ouch) and got to discuss some of my questions about The Day. I brought in a copy of my birth preferences and the midwife was thrilled. I signed a water birth waiver. I'm happy to do so, but it seems so weird. I know, as do the midwives, that water births are actually safer than other birthing techniques, and yes all others do not require a waiver. Lying on my back during Landon's birth, which is the worst way to birth, should've required a waiver that said i wouldn't be upset if I had more pain, more tissue tearing, risk of passing out from "purple face", fear, vomiting and loss of confidence. All that is considered "normal". I assure you it's not. But again, I was happy to sign it knowing that the midwife understood I was choosing the best path for myself and my baby, one that will be relaxing and peaceful, calming and safe. Now I only pray Baby and I make it to 37 weeks and make it to the birthing center in time to have a water birth.
After my appointment I took a trip to Target. Had some time to kill before my massage. I wanted to find a newborn outfit to bring to the birthing center, but there was nothing neutral. There was adorable girlie stuff and super-cute boy stuff, or set of 3 that weren't warm enough anyway. I only want one. And I want it warm and unisex. I'll have to look elsewhere.
My body was feeling great after my massage! So loose and free. Except for my right arm...that hurt...a lot. That one couldn't be massaged because a vaccine had been given there and they can't mess with the flow of a vaccine. She warned me ahead of time that i might feel a little off-balance in my arms. She was right! Tetanus shots hurts. I always request shots, especially that one, in my right arm. Made that mistake when i was younger when I got a Tetanus shot in my left arm and had a really difficult time writing in school that next day. But I'm happy she was able to relax the rest of my body. My hips have been sore and they weren't tonight.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 21
Started my day with an outdoor family photo shoot. It was fun. I get a lot of exercise during a shoot, but I wonder what the clients think watching me lug equipment and my growing body around, walking up and down paths and trenches, crouching down for low-angle shots. Do they think I'm crazy? I always joke about it being harder to maneuver but that I feel great being out and moving around. I love the exercise! I hope that calms them. No way I'm entering my birthing time during a shoot. And if I do, it won't be because of the shoot itself but because the baby is saying it's time. The family had a great time and that's what matters to me. Only problem with the shoot was having to miss Landon's hockey practice. But there will be another practice tomorrow!
My arm really hurts today!!!! So glad i requested the shot to be injected in my non-writing arm! I can't lift anything, including my arm more than halfway up. I was able to take photos ok because i hold my camera with my left hand, thankfully! My hips didn't hurt when i woke up and that's thanks to my massage. Awesome! Just that stinkin right arm!
I read through my blog entry for Kiley's birthing day today. What an amazing story. I wrote it in such a way that conveys the emotions we felt, the urgencies and calms. I laughed, teared up and even shook my head in disbelief. A few instances that day should've prompted me to go in to the birthing center but I didn't. I didn't want to admit things were happening early. But looking back, i wouldn't want it any other way. It was too amazing. That said, this time I won't let my expectations override what's really going on. I'll make it to the birthing center and I will have a water birth.
SUNDAY OCTOBER 22
Hockey! Landon skated really well today. He went after the puck and skated fast. My 5-year-old is officially a better skater than his momma. Next practice I need to bring a seat cushion. My butt was hurting quite badly. Hard seats, hard butt and pregnancy do not mix well. Oh...add in cold. Even indoor rinks are cold and we always go prepared. But I never remember a seat cushion! Next time.
TMI warning for some! I noticed brown discharge on two occasions today, once earlier and once late in the evening. I assumed it was normal discharge tinged with old blood. That could be a number of things, but as long as i don't feel any cramping, abdominal pain or increases in blood I'm ok. Just alarmed me because it was the first time this pregnancy seeing anything other than clear discharge, and with my history of preterm births I need to be on top of every change. So I'll pay close attention to my body and how I feel in the coming days, and if the discharge continues my midwives will be hearing from me.
Tonight Mike and I watched, or should i say suffered through, the premier of The Walking Dead Season 7. I knew it would be rough and tried to mentally prepare myself. I've been worried about this episode for MANY months and didn't look forward to it. I also wanted to ensure I stayed as relaxed as possible. Any negative energy can affect me and my baby. It raises blood pressure, tension and stress, all the things I'm trying to keep low right now. Needless to say I had to work hard to keep those low. It was a rough episode, the worst we'd seen in all 7 seasons of the show. I jumped out of my seat a few times, fought back tears and anger. Afterwards I did some relaxation breathing techniques to flush out all that bad stuff. Zombies and pregnancy do not get along. But I love my Walking Dead!!
TUESDAY OCTOBER 24
Had some trouble today with my stomach. Looking back, I think I ate my almond butter and jelly sandwich too fast because I wasn't thinking about it. I was reading my Hypnobabies book when suddenly I realized it was gone and I felt full. I was in the mood for a little popcorn so I bought some on my break an hour later. But I looked at it thinking maybe I shouldn't eat it cause I didn't feel normal, my stomach was a little weird after the sandwich. I decided to have some, just a little. Didn't take long for my body to be like, yeah stop. So I did. Within an hour I was really feeling awful. My stomach was cramping and nauseous, my arms were starting to tingle, I was feeling dizzy and cold and the poor baby was being squished by painful bloat. I don't have any room in there for bloat! The bloat pushed against the baby and the baby pushed against my stomach and I was not doing well.
I only had an hour until work was done but I was worried I'd need to leave. I didn't want to simply to save my sick leave. I needed to stick it out. I was starting to feel faint. I ran into a room thinking I might vomit, but I didn't. I wanted to get it over with. I think my body needed to rid itself of whatever I'd consumed. I could feel the nausea building, the dizziness worsening and my skin shivering. I put on my jacket, something I never do at work. I'm always hot! Two minutes before leaving work I suddenly felt I would lose it, so I ran to a room JUST in time. I got it out. I'm thankful to have been drinking lots of water that last two hours. I think the reality of driving home caused enough anxiety to accelerate my symptoms.
I felt better afterwards, but man was i exhausted. I actually apologized to my baby in the middle of my "cleanse" because I feared the force was jolting things for the poor little thing. On the way home I felt some odd things. Not sure if they were practice waves or gas, but they hurt. I used my relaxation techniques to calm my body down. I felt 4 or 5 of them, lost count. And the baby was really pushing on stuff. The gas wouldn't go anywhere, just bloat, cramp, subsided, repeat. I think the pressure of the gas made it feel like practice waves. I couldn't tell sometimes. If they were pressure waves, there were a lot of them. With my premature birthing history I couldn't help but worry a little. My instincts told me it was the gas, even though it traveled to my back. The pressure felt stronger when I laid down, but sitting up wasn't comfortable either. It's been a rough night!
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25
I can still feel a slight nausea, so I will have to be careful what I eat, how much, and how quickly. I'm usually very good about that. I never eat a whole meal at work. I eat my yogurt and wait an hour or more, then my sandwich, then after another hour or two I eat my apple, then I wait...I do that every day. I even cut my sandwich into 4 squares so that I eat them slower. Yesterday I didn't pay attention and scarfed all four pieces. I honestly think that started things. I must've swallowed a lot of air. Its a common thing in pregnancy that can be avoided by eating slowly.
I am also still feeling some of the bloat. I can feel a strong cramp right where my leg meats my body, sometimes traveling inward to the center abs. That's when it starts to feel more like a pressure wave. But its still different. The baby will be pushed outward, left wondering where the little extra space went. At least I don't feel as freezing as I did yesterday and last night. I couldn't warm up at home and I couldn't sleep, so I'm very exhausted today. When my alarm sounded I was already awake. My first thought was whether or not I should eat breakfast. I know how important it is but I was scared of aggravating my stomach again. I decided I should try, so I have a very little amount of cereal and milk. We'll see how that holds.
Ice. That sounded good. I got a cup of it when I got to work and that's all I ate until my stomach started growling. Crap, do I eat?
What a wonderful day today will be. I feel exhausted having stayed up too late the night before, but today is Friday and I have an appointment, which not only means I get to leave work early but I get to see my midwife and talk baby stuff! Plus I also have a massage afterwards that I feel in much need of. My back and hips have been sore, mostly when I awake in the morning, but sometimes here and there throughout the day. A nice massage will do me good. And any relaxation is important leading up to my birthing time.
I've been listening religiously to my Positive Pregnancy Affirmations every morning and sometimes at night. I never get sick of them. They always make me feel so calm and confident, so happy about me and my baby and the birth. Listening to it on the way to work is a wonderful way to start my day, and listening to it while getting ready for bed (and sometimes after I lay down) is a perfect way to end the day.
I was happy to wake up feeling more empty this morning. I felt so overly full yesterday that it was a nice relief. Of course, as soon as I ate my oatmeal breakfast I felt full again. But not so terribly. Pretty sure my stomach is pushing against Baby, or the other way around. I'm happy to accept it as part of the journey.
My midwife appointment was a success. Baby is "measuring right on" and was head-down. YAY! She said "yup, baby wants to be head down now, but also wants to turn around and face your belly." I was hoping baby was head down after feeling all the hiccups way low. I also had a feeling baby was facing my back but wanted to turn the other way because I always feel its back pushing out beyond my placenta on my front right. Stay facing backwards, Baby. You can do it, and you can turn to the other side too. I know you can. Heart rate was at 150, up 10 from the last measurement, blood pressure low, got a Tdap vaccine (ouch) and got to discuss some of my questions about The Day. I brought in a copy of my birth preferences and the midwife was thrilled. I signed a water birth waiver. I'm happy to do so, but it seems so weird. I know, as do the midwives, that water births are actually safer than other birthing techniques, and yes all others do not require a waiver. Lying on my back during Landon's birth, which is the worst way to birth, should've required a waiver that said i wouldn't be upset if I had more pain, more tissue tearing, risk of passing out from "purple face", fear, vomiting and loss of confidence. All that is considered "normal". I assure you it's not. But again, I was happy to sign it knowing that the midwife understood I was choosing the best path for myself and my baby, one that will be relaxing and peaceful, calming and safe. Now I only pray Baby and I make it to 37 weeks and make it to the birthing center in time to have a water birth.
After my appointment I took a trip to Target. Had some time to kill before my massage. I wanted to find a newborn outfit to bring to the birthing center, but there was nothing neutral. There was adorable girlie stuff and super-cute boy stuff, or set of 3 that weren't warm enough anyway. I only want one. And I want it warm and unisex. I'll have to look elsewhere.
My body was feeling great after my massage! So loose and free. Except for my right arm...that hurt...a lot. That one couldn't be massaged because a vaccine had been given there and they can't mess with the flow of a vaccine. She warned me ahead of time that i might feel a little off-balance in my arms. She was right! Tetanus shots hurts. I always request shots, especially that one, in my right arm. Made that mistake when i was younger when I got a Tetanus shot in my left arm and had a really difficult time writing in school that next day. But I'm happy she was able to relax the rest of my body. My hips have been sore and they weren't tonight.
SATURDAY OCTOBER 21
Started my day with an outdoor family photo shoot. It was fun. I get a lot of exercise during a shoot, but I wonder what the clients think watching me lug equipment and my growing body around, walking up and down paths and trenches, crouching down for low-angle shots. Do they think I'm crazy? I always joke about it being harder to maneuver but that I feel great being out and moving around. I love the exercise! I hope that calms them. No way I'm entering my birthing time during a shoot. And if I do, it won't be because of the shoot itself but because the baby is saying it's time. The family had a great time and that's what matters to me. Only problem with the shoot was having to miss Landon's hockey practice. But there will be another practice tomorrow!
My arm really hurts today!!!! So glad i requested the shot to be injected in my non-writing arm! I can't lift anything, including my arm more than halfway up. I was able to take photos ok because i hold my camera with my left hand, thankfully! My hips didn't hurt when i woke up and that's thanks to my massage. Awesome! Just that stinkin right arm!
I read through my blog entry for Kiley's birthing day today. What an amazing story. I wrote it in such a way that conveys the emotions we felt, the urgencies and calms. I laughed, teared up and even shook my head in disbelief. A few instances that day should've prompted me to go in to the birthing center but I didn't. I didn't want to admit things were happening early. But looking back, i wouldn't want it any other way. It was too amazing. That said, this time I won't let my expectations override what's really going on. I'll make it to the birthing center and I will have a water birth.
SUNDAY OCTOBER 22
Hockey! Landon skated really well today. He went after the puck and skated fast. My 5-year-old is officially a better skater than his momma. Next practice I need to bring a seat cushion. My butt was hurting quite badly. Hard seats, hard butt and pregnancy do not mix well. Oh...add in cold. Even indoor rinks are cold and we always go prepared. But I never remember a seat cushion! Next time.
TMI warning for some! I noticed brown discharge on two occasions today, once earlier and once late in the evening. I assumed it was normal discharge tinged with old blood. That could be a number of things, but as long as i don't feel any cramping, abdominal pain or increases in blood I'm ok. Just alarmed me because it was the first time this pregnancy seeing anything other than clear discharge, and with my history of preterm births I need to be on top of every change. So I'll pay close attention to my body and how I feel in the coming days, and if the discharge continues my midwives will be hearing from me.
Tonight Mike and I watched, or should i say suffered through, the premier of The Walking Dead Season 7. I knew it would be rough and tried to mentally prepare myself. I've been worried about this episode for MANY months and didn't look forward to it. I also wanted to ensure I stayed as relaxed as possible. Any negative energy can affect me and my baby. It raises blood pressure, tension and stress, all the things I'm trying to keep low right now. Needless to say I had to work hard to keep those low. It was a rough episode, the worst we'd seen in all 7 seasons of the show. I jumped out of my seat a few times, fought back tears and anger. Afterwards I did some relaxation breathing techniques to flush out all that bad stuff. Zombies and pregnancy do not get along. But I love my Walking Dead!!
TUESDAY OCTOBER 24
Had some trouble today with my stomach. Looking back, I think I ate my almond butter and jelly sandwich too fast because I wasn't thinking about it. I was reading my Hypnobabies book when suddenly I realized it was gone and I felt full. I was in the mood for a little popcorn so I bought some on my break an hour later. But I looked at it thinking maybe I shouldn't eat it cause I didn't feel normal, my stomach was a little weird after the sandwich. I decided to have some, just a little. Didn't take long for my body to be like, yeah stop. So I did. Within an hour I was really feeling awful. My stomach was cramping and nauseous, my arms were starting to tingle, I was feeling dizzy and cold and the poor baby was being squished by painful bloat. I don't have any room in there for bloat! The bloat pushed against the baby and the baby pushed against my stomach and I was not doing well.
I only had an hour until work was done but I was worried I'd need to leave. I didn't want to simply to save my sick leave. I needed to stick it out. I was starting to feel faint. I ran into a room thinking I might vomit, but I didn't. I wanted to get it over with. I think my body needed to rid itself of whatever I'd consumed. I could feel the nausea building, the dizziness worsening and my skin shivering. I put on my jacket, something I never do at work. I'm always hot! Two minutes before leaving work I suddenly felt I would lose it, so I ran to a room JUST in time. I got it out. I'm thankful to have been drinking lots of water that last two hours. I think the reality of driving home caused enough anxiety to accelerate my symptoms.
I felt better afterwards, but man was i exhausted. I actually apologized to my baby in the middle of my "cleanse" because I feared the force was jolting things for the poor little thing. On the way home I felt some odd things. Not sure if they were practice waves or gas, but they hurt. I used my relaxation techniques to calm my body down. I felt 4 or 5 of them, lost count. And the baby was really pushing on stuff. The gas wouldn't go anywhere, just bloat, cramp, subsided, repeat. I think the pressure of the gas made it feel like practice waves. I couldn't tell sometimes. If they were pressure waves, there were a lot of them. With my premature birthing history I couldn't help but worry a little. My instincts told me it was the gas, even though it traveled to my back. The pressure felt stronger when I laid down, but sitting up wasn't comfortable either. It's been a rough night!
WEDNESDAY OCTOBER 25
I can still feel a slight nausea, so I will have to be careful what I eat, how much, and how quickly. I'm usually very good about that. I never eat a whole meal at work. I eat my yogurt and wait an hour or more, then my sandwich, then after another hour or two I eat my apple, then I wait...I do that every day. I even cut my sandwich into 4 squares so that I eat them slower. Yesterday I didn't pay attention and scarfed all four pieces. I honestly think that started things. I must've swallowed a lot of air. Its a common thing in pregnancy that can be avoided by eating slowly.
I am also still feeling some of the bloat. I can feel a strong cramp right where my leg meats my body, sometimes traveling inward to the center abs. That's when it starts to feel more like a pressure wave. But its still different. The baby will be pushed outward, left wondering where the little extra space went. At least I don't feel as freezing as I did yesterday and last night. I couldn't warm up at home and I couldn't sleep, so I'm very exhausted today. When my alarm sounded I was already awake. My first thought was whether or not I should eat breakfast. I know how important it is but I was scared of aggravating my stomach again. I decided I should try, so I have a very little amount of cereal and milk. We'll see how that holds.
Ice. That sounded good. I got a cup of it when I got to work and that's all I ate until my stomach started growling. Crap, do I eat?
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