4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42
So today was supposed to be my very first massage ever and I was super excited@ Nervous, but excited. Would I be comfortable, would I be able to relax, would it help? Well none of those questions were answered because they had scheduled me for next Friday. Oops. Doesn't matter, I'll wait a week and be ready! She asked me if I was feeling anything that needed attention today but I said no, nothing out of the ordinary. I just had the expected soreness from my body growing and stretching.
I've been noticing when I wake up in the morning that my hips hurt more than previous weeks. My lowers must be moving apart! Everything has to prepare for Baby's arrival, not just me rearranging stuff in the house and stocking up on diapers and wipies. My body has to be ready even more so. Next week I plan to start Hypnobabies to further loosen my body and get it ready for the amazing birth that's soon approaching. Normally Hypnobabies is started around 30 weeks but because of my chances of birthing early I also want to start practicing early.
And what exactly am I practicing? Relaxation, calmness, serenity, learning to connect with my body, and even sending natural anesthesia where its needed. The basis of Hypnobabies is to teach my mind to relax so your body can relax and allow Baby to enter the world easily and peacefully. All that relaxation is what helps numb the body, acting as anesthesia. Having used these techniques before I can say they are amazing. I love birth because of what I've learned and experienced. I can't wait to start again. Actually, I started months ago when I first felt practice pressure waves. Each one gives me the opportunity to close my eyes and breathe, send calmness throughout my body, and feel the pressure dissipate. When it passes, I open my eyes, smile, and go about my business. Easy peasy.
SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 10
Today was busy but fun. I started off with a photo shoot for my neice. She's turning 5 soon...and also a sister. I got to take a photo of her for the family's announcement!! It was fun to spend the morning with my sister-in-law and talk pregnancy. It'll be fun to be pregnant together, at least for a little while. She's about 16 weeks behind me and still in the nausea stage...I'm thankful to be done with that part. Its the only part of pregnancy I don't look forward to. I accept it and keep a positive attitude about it, but its still no fun. I like getting past that and enjoying pregnancy fully, like now!
SUNDAY SEPTEMBER 11
Last night Baby was NUTS! Lying in bed at the start of the night s/he was flopping and dancing and kicking and who knows what else! I'd never felt that before with this one or my other two! I had Mike feel and even he was surprised by it! I thought I'd see a foot break through at some points! I felt movement on both sides, like there was some severe jumping jacks taking place in there. Eventually s/he must've fell asleep though because i didn't feel it all night. But when i woke up this morning, crazy baby was back! I've read that when activity notably decreases or increases you're supposed to call the clinic, but I didn't feel concerned. I was wondering what was going on by morning, but that quickly dissipated as the movement settled and baby fell asleep. Must've been all my moving around preparing for a photo shoot that was soon starting!
I got to do a newborn shoot with some friends. Baby fix!! They make the most adorable little babies. I got to snuggle with him too. I was wonderful, even when he peed all over me he was still precious. We talked about how she's not sure how she feels about being done or not done. The discussion was brought up at hospital and she expressed that she wasn't ready for finalizing anything. When i was pregnant with Kiley, every moment was my last time and that made me sad. It made me sad to think I'd never experience the bump again, the maternity clothes would never be worn again, I'd never feel the belly kicks. I'd never breastfeed again or sleep with a newborn again. This was it. I learned to accept it but I was never truly ok with it.
This time, I'm ok with everything being my last. Thinking about each milestone as a final chance is ok. I'm loving every second but I don't feel sad. That's how I know we will be complete after this baby is born. We will be truly done. Looking back on Kiley's pregnancy and how I felt, it makes sense to me now to be pregnant again. Even thinking about Mike's reaction to being done, the things he'd say that made me wonder what he was really thinking and feeling. Compare that to how he talks now, he's ready. He's so happy we get this last opportunity and thankful for every moment, but he's honestly ok with this being our last time. Funny how things happen. I always say everything happens for a reason...
MONDAY SEPTEMBER 12
Baby was kicking harder this morning. Not crazily like yesterday morning but still quite noticeable. I love feeling the baby. However...s/he is still breech, or at least diagonal. Most of the movement is still felt down low. Come one baby, turn, you can do it! It'll happen, i have faith. I read that if previous baby's flipped correctly, its very likely that subsequent babies will as well. So here's hoping that's accurate for this baby!!
WEDNESDAY SEPTEMBER 14
Baby is moving a lot again today! I am simply in love with this little baby cabbage! I can tell Cabbage is still breech and is also facing the wrong way. Instead of looking toward my back, Cabbage is looking at my belly button. Best if s/he spins around. Baby's naturally want to be facing the placenta and since mine is just behind my belly button, that's the direction Baby is facing. I have to convince him/her to rotate. I have faith, though, that s/he will turn but I like to help things along. I'm still doing inversions and squats and sitting properly. If my alignment is off, it'll make it harder for Baby to turn when space becomes limited. Poor alignment is often the reason babies are in the wrong position at the end. Up until 30 weeks or so, they're all over the place because they have room. But beyond that, things get tight and poor alignment can prevent the baby from finding a clear path for the head to move down. Its amazing how everything is connected and how my actions during pregnancy can affect the birth. I've been told by midwives and others that all my attention on posture, etc, has helped lead to easier births and I'd like to think so. I was way more focused on that with Kiley and it shows. Both births have been easy compared to what I've heard from others, but Kiley's was a breeze. Not only was I hypnotic and therefore calm, my body may have been aligned well enough that things just flowed seamlessly, allowing Kiley to turn and slide out. I hope all that I'm doing will pay off this time as well, only I'd like to go longer further into the pregnancy.
I've been telling the baby to stay in there, bake a nice long time. I explain why and say that no matter what the two of us will do it together and it will be beautiful. I'm looking forward to that experience and excited for how things will play out. I do not fear birth, I welcome it. It's such a wonderful journey.
THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 14
So...choosing a name. Hardest with this baby!!! Maybe it's because we weren't expecting to have third, at least consciously. Maybe it's because we have to agree on a boy and girl name. Maybe we're both just ridiculously picky, which I already know is true. I think our difficulty stems from all these factors. We want something different and unique as opposed to classic and familiar. We like a lot of names, just not for our own. We kinda have first names picked out but the middle is giving us additional trouble, mostly because I want the middle names of our children to hold some special meaning. The meaning needs to connect with us. Like Landon's middle being Michael. That's his dad's name, grandpa's name, and his grandma's maiden name. Kiley's middle name is Brooks. Brooks is a little known variety of the cherry fruit. That name took a long time for me to find. I knew I wanted something meaning cherry, and since Mike didn't like using the actual word "cherry" I needed to find a name that would convince him. He was thrilled when I suggested Brooks and shocked to discover its meaning. So now here we are with a third. A gift, a surprise. I've looked up names that have those meanings, as well as meaning complete, whole, perfect...even shock. Haha. I decided against that. I also decided against a name meaning "end" or finished". I worry the child wouldn't like that meaning. It's been a challenge, but at least we care enough to go through this process.
Ok, so I realized people are so harsh!! Someone will ask for middle name ideas and people will say they don't like the first name and it should be used as the middle name, and so on. People need to keep their mouths shut. If someone loves a name then others need to respect that! And no one cares if you don't like it. What matters is the parents like it and actually agreed on it! I read so many negatives (mainly cause they stick out like sore thumbs) that it nearly made me change my mind! But this name jumped out at me early on before I started reading anything and Mike wasn't sure at first because you don't hear it often. But one day he did and it then became a name and not just a word and he said he really liked it. Other people don't have to like a name you choose. It's not their child!! I may not like all the names people choose for their kids, but that it doesn't matter. Its what they chose after who knows how many months of trying to narrow it down! And, that aside, its the name of a child, a person. Some people are so terrible. You can't please everyone. But i digress...as for the names we chose, we chose them for a reason and if the only reason is because we love them, then bug off. :) There, i said my peace. But for those who ask...we never reveal our baby's names until we know the sex and since we aren't finding out the sex until its born, there's no way we're disclosing yet!