my pregnancy journey week 14

12/13/2013

Posted in: JOUNALING | PROJECTS | FOR PHOTOGS | MATERNITY

SELF-PORTRAIT HOW-TO: This week I decided to use my flash. I put it on the floor as a slave light. It was pointed up and towards a white board that would reflect the light upward onto my face. I didn't want the flash pointed directly at me because it would have been too harsh. I also didn't want it pointed at my shirt or stomach. My shirt was white so I didn't need extra light for that part of my body, and the window behind me helped illuminate the shape of my stomach, so i didn't have to worry about that either.

WEEK 14 MONTH 3 | DECEMBER 13TH - DECEMBER 19TH
B A B Y L E M O N

I always take my self portraits in the morning to get a more accurate portray of my growing tummy. I am amazed at how much smaller it is than at night. I've been tempted to take a few night for comparison. The night before taking this photo I felt huge, in a good way! It also depends on what I am wearing. I enjoy sporting clothes that emphasize the fact that I am pregnant. I love how my body changes and I never like to hide it.

I am about four weeks ahead of where I was during Landon's pregnancy at 14 weeks. I look about the size I was with him at 18 weeks, yet I haven't gained any more weight than I had with him.

Its amazing how much faster this baby is popping out of my tummy! But I am embracing it. I love showing earlier because people won't have to wonder if I'm just getting fat or if I'm expecting! During Landon's pregnancy people probably were trying to figure that out up until about the mid-20th weeks. This time is even more fun. I get to enjoy the obvious stage longer!!

I am also enjoying it more now that the sickness has all but disappeared. If i let an empty stomach go too long I can start to feel a little uneasy, to the point where only certain foods appeal to me. But it is much more manageable now. And I can eat without feeling sick afterwards, and that is a wonderful thing.

Still no baby dreams. How sad! I actually haven't been able to remember any of my dreams thus far, which means I haven't been able to write any of them down. I wish i could because those are really fun to look back on!

I've decided to give up on trying to feel whether i'm having a boy or a girl. I would be truly happy with either, but what girl doesn't want to share girl stuff with a daughter? And because this will probably be our final pregnancy, its hard for me not to wish for a girl. So in order to not risk being disappointed that a boy couldn't offer me those mother-daughter experiences, I'm going to not think about what this baby could be. It becomes too easy to plan out things in my mind that may only lead to expectations. I don't want any expectations! What will be will be. if we have another boy, Landon will have a brother to play with and that would be incredibly fun! I have to let go of girly dreams and realize I don't need them to be happy. Heck, even if Landon was our only child I'd be the happiest mommy on Earth!! So from now on, I will not even try to hear my instincts. They've been pretty indistinct from the beginning of this pregnancy, and i think this is exactly why. I'm not meant to know this time until we find out for sure. Boy or girl, I only ask that this baby is healthy and happy!