my pregnancy journey week 15

12/20/2013

Posted in: JOURNALING | PROJECTS | FOR PHOTOGS | MATERNITY

SELF-PORTRAIT HOW-TO: I decided to go back to what worked in the past and use the bathroom again. This time I set my flash further away from the wall, but still pointed the light at it and away from me. That would allow the light to reflect off the white tiles and onto my face, giving a much softer effect than if I had pointed the flash direct towards me. I paid attention to the shape of my face as well. I am a little self-conscious about my nose, so to minimize its size I turned my head slightly toward the camera. By doing this, the edge of my nose blended in with the outer edge of my face and made it less prominent. Much better!

15 WEEKS 4 MONTHS | DECEMBER 20TH - DECEMBER 26TH
B A B Y A P P L E

This week had its ups and ups. I love being pregnant and watching my body change. The most change for me occurs from day to night. As the day moves on, my stomach gets bigger and bigger with each meal.

But the best part about this week was no doubt the holidays!! Christmas came and went with cheer. I had the joy of being pregnant during Christmas with Landon and this time was no less fun. I get to eat and eat and eat without anyone looking at me with crazy faces! People kept telling me to eat, and eventually I had to tell them there was no room left!

What's the downfall? Worrying about the extra weight I'd gain afterwards! My weekly weigh-in fell on a day that followed 3 days of excessive consumption. But to my surprise, I had gained nothing since my last weigh-in one week earlier!! How could that be?? I actually began to worry a little. Was my baby growing? I remember not really gaining anything with Landon until about 13 weeks, after which i gained about a pound per week. But I'm already 16, so shouldn't i be gaining every week? Not necessarily, I found out. I researched forums where people asked this very question about their own pregnancy. People responded with an amazingly wide range of weight patterns. Some didn't gain until their 20th week or later. Some weighed less at 16 weeks than when they conceived. Others had gained and lost. I felt comforted with the inconsistencies. As long as i say "everything's ok" I feel that everything is ok and i can relax. The moment i worry about the baby, my mind quickly flies off into a dark place where our baby is not growing and no longer breathing. I can't let the past dictate this pregnancy. So, i shall continue on feeling good.

I had my first pregnancy dream! Up until now, i have not had any dreams where I was pregnant. i don't remember the dream, but I know I was consciously thinking about being pregnant. Hopefully soon i can start to remember the weird dreams!!

Another fun milestone: i think i felt a very small flutter on the 26th!! I'm not 100% sure it was the baby, but as soon as i felt it i stopped in my tracks and said to myself "that had to be the baby". I stood still for several minutes waiting for another flutter, but nothing happened. I remember feeling something very similar to that when i was pregnant with Landon. I thought it was intestinal rumblings or maybe a muscle spasm. But i knew later on that it was Landon moving. We'll see if I am right this time.