My Pregnancy Week 32 - by Betsy Cherry Twin Cities Maternity Photographer

4/18/2014

Posted in: PROJECTS | MATERNITY | JOURNALING | FOR PHOTOGS | PHOTO SHOOTS

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SELF-PORTRAIT HOW-TO: This week i did another full photo shoot outdoors. It's great practice and it gets me outdoors too! I set up my camera on a tripod and went to town. Generally I kept the sun behind the camera and exposed for myself. For the shot above, I stood about 15 feet away and zoomed in. i over-exposed the background to make sure I didn't fall into shadow. The sun was in front of me, but I was standing underneath my deck to keep me out of the harsh light. My ISO was 400, with the shutter at 1/160 and f/stop at 5.6. The rest of the photos from this practice shoot are included at the end of this blog entry. I went black and white for the remainder of them.

WEEK 32 MONTH 8 | APRIL 18TH - APRIL 24TH
B A B Y K A L E

Friday, April 18th - today's check-up visit went very well. The midwife said little baby kale is head down and in the ROT position, meaning her back sticks out toward my right side and is facing towards my left side. The best thing for her do to is turn counterclockwise (from the perspective of me looking down at my belly) and getting her back to the left side with her facing my back. But i'm not worried. The midwife pointed out that by her not being in the absolute best position yet, her birth may be delayed. That's something we want right now since I have a better chance of having a premature labor after landon's early birth. And a waterbirth cannot occur before 37 weeks, so we want her to stay in there! I know my baby girl will turn into the best position as we get closer to her birthing day. I've been talking to her and listening to a Hypnobabies track that can help her turn. I tell her its ok to be in her current position but that she should try moving all around so that she knows she can when the time comes to actually turn and come into the world. I felt her in the opposite position for the first time a few days ago, so I know she can do it. She moved back to her right-side transverse position, but that's ok. I trust her.

MY BIRTHING DAY VISIONS: early on in the pregnancy, i'd say around 4-5 months in, I was given a clear vision of the birthing day. I don't know where it came from because I didn't come up with it on my own. Perhaps God, or my instincts, or both, gave me the vision of how that day will progress. I see it as if it's already happened and i'm recalling every detail. I've been given a due date of Friday June 13th, but I don't see that happening. I see Saturday, June 14th. I see myself getting up somewhat early, around 7-something, after Landon wakes me up. Mike doesn't wake up, which is good because he need sleep. It's a beautiful, warm day, sun up over the trees and shining into the house. I feel calm and wonderful. As I'm getting breakfast ready for the two of us, talking to my excitable little boy running around the livingroom and out on the deck, I feel something. Not sure if its a strong pressure wave, or something that triggers a feeling of urgency, but I see me then saying "I think I should wake Mike up and call Amber". Amber is my doula. My water will not break this time and I will not be rushing in to the hospital. But things won't be too slow. I will close my eyes and breathe deeply while placing my hand under my belly, hugging my baby girl and asking her if this is "it". I know she will find a way to answer me. I will then call my parents and tell them they should pack up and head down. They live 3 hours away and will need a good warning! Amber will arrive and help me remain relaxed and assist Mike in getting things ready. When we feel the time is right, we will all head over to the birthing center where I will begin applying all the Hypnobabies tools I've been working so hard to learn over the past weeks. This baby girl will be born in a wonderful environment, with dim lighting and soft voices, positive energy and excitement. I don't foresee any problems and I envision her in my arms late midday or early afternoon. My parents will make it there in plenty of time and Landon will be well-taken care of...I see him possibly being in the room right at the end as his sister comes into the world. This detailed vision was not created by me but rather given in clarity. I have not been able to stray from this vision, not that i'd want to. But if I try to envision her coming later, or on the due date the charts give me, it just reverts back to the vision I've had for months. Its very vivid and I see if often. I see no reason to get rid of it because it looks perfect.

Saturday April 19th - something scary happened yesterday. I found out that the hospital i was planning to birth at, and all other hospitals owned by the same health organization, will no longer be allowing waterbirths!! It wasn't a decision made by the hospital but by the super-high-ups who know very little about the science that backs up the use of water during birthing. I called my midwives to confirm and i found out they were all very shocked and upset. Their plan is to organize a way to get their patients to the other hospital in their network that still allows waterbirths, since that hospital is not under the same health organization. This particular hospital has a c-section rate only 1% above my original location and is said to be extremely good with mothers wanting to do an all-natural birth. I've been told by my doula and the midwives that i would be in very good hands. And equally important is the fact that i can keep the midwives that have been by my side throughout this entire pregnancy. I really did not want to have to switch. That would have caused unnecessary stress on top of the stress I was already feeling after hearing the devastating news. I'm feeling better about the scenario knowing that whether I can go to my original birthing center, or the alternative, i will have a waterbirth with MY midwives and the birth will be wonderful and beautiful. I still have time to figure things out and let the news sink in. But i feel for the moms who didn't or don't have that time. I hope that I can voice my personal concerns to the health organization's admin and be part of the movement to get waterbirths reinstated. Waterbirthing has been proven over and over to be a very healthy and positive experience, one that lessens chances of medical emergencies. Those that are trying to stop it are not looking at that proof. They are looking at the money. Putting money over human health is NOT a wise idea. I hope they will see the light.

Monday April 21 - tonight I did my first in-water Hypnobabies lesson. I've been listening to my tracks in bed and decided I should try listening in the tub sometimes since I'll be in water for the birth itself. I was very different, in a good way. I listened to the "Deepening" track, which takes you into deep relaxation and helps train your mind to shut your body down completely, allowing natural anesthesia to easily pass throughout. At the end of the track the instructor says that if I want to I can "bypass" (not respond to) the count-up and instead just drift off to sleep. This explains why I normally wake up halfway through a second listening of that track! But tonight I heard her say that and I counted myself up and brought my mind back to complete consciousness. I didn't want to sleep all night in the tub! Although I found the water very relaxing, I tended to feel itchiness pop up here and there, like on my ear or my hand or my knee. Its hard sometimes for me to fully relax and being in an new hypno-environment might have sparked a few resistant areas. I would count myself to 2, which allows me to move without leaving my hypnotic state, and gently scratched my itches. This happened numerous times throughout the half-hour session. I'm glad that i decided to try water because I think as I do that more I will have less itchiness and more relaxation. Towards the very end of my session, as I was being given the option to stay deep in it or come back up, Mike came home. I heard him come in the bathroom, but instead of being frustrated that he was interrupting me, i simply allowed his noises to relax me deeper. I had the track playing aloud so at least he knew to be quiet. But he peaked into the tub and thought I was sleeping. I told him i never was and reminded him that sometimes i might look like i'm sleeping and other times i might not look any different at all, but that he just need to know and trust that I'm in a hypnotic state and to not question that fact. Its hard for him to understand all the aspects of what i'm doing, so i'm trying my best to teach him how to simply trust and accept, as I have to teach my own mind.

Wednesday April 23rd - I took to the tub again for tonight's Hypnobabies session. Just as last time, I was able to stay "awake" and listen consciously to what was being suggested, but I had a hard time fully relaxing my body. I kept feeling little spots of itchiness here and there. I had to keep my mental switch in the center position so that I could move and scratch if needed. I think it has to do with the tingly feeling I get as my skin dries. I think I may find that I will be more fully relaxed when I am submerged in water, rather than laying half in, half out. My tub is just as long as my body and can only be filled so far, so sometimes my legs aren't completely covered. My face will itch if I don't dry it off before starting my session, so I'm pretty sure that's the source of the problem. I try feeding natural hypno-anesthesia to the itchy spots but I'm having trouble doing that. It's either because I'm still learning how to direct anesthesia or because the itchies are so annoying I have a hard time just letting them be. Probably both are correct. I will keep working at it!!! I don't want the itchies I feel now to affect my desire for a waterbirth. I need to trust that I will feel comfortable in the birthing tub no matter what I feel right now. I will simply accept that I'm still learning and teaching my body how to relax.